|
Issue Six - February 4, 2000 |
|
You know, it having been Christmas and New Year so recently, we were looking forward to receiving huge numbers of festive greetings from all our wonderful, caring readers. Unfortunately it seems that all of our wonderful, caring readers were on holiday, so instead this page is filled with the usual ramblings of the care in the community crowd. Tch, eh? Cheers, Nathan Star Letter winners receive a real Spectrum game! |
|
Ex-Employee Yourself
I think you were very harsh on McDonalds, as an ex-employee yourself you should know exactly how difficult it is over the christmas period. Also as you should well know the cheapest item is not as you say milk, it is an ice-cream cone at 35p! Thank you for the nice comments about me though. luv sam To be honest, I'm beginning to think we were quite generous. (The original version of this reply has been censored as too professional.) |
|
Look At It
Sometimes I think the world is going mad. I mean, look at it. It's bloody pathetic isn't it? And what the hell is with these Dark and Light thingummies? Eh? Eh? Now, a song: (No chance, matey! Ed) Andy Kavanagh, via e-mail. Why do we get deranged loons writing to us? Will no one write a clear and coherent letter, offering their personal opinions and suggestions about the contents of the previous issue? Or even about events that occured during the month? Why do we only get the incoherent babblings of the insane? Why, lord, why? (Sobs hysterically.) |
|
Funny Business
Thanks Jon. 5 million then. Used, non-consecutive notes. Ok, here's the shipment. 100% Pure. Come out and get it. No funny business or the caramel slice gets it. -- The bloke parked in the black BMW with tinted windows just outside your window. Yes, I know you're on the 4th floor. Er... |
|
Serious
Dear YS3, Have you ever received a serious letter? Philip, via e-mail. We have actually... Dear Mr Cross, Your phone bill is now severely overdue. If you do not make a payment within thirty days, we'll be sending the boys round. Hugs and Kisses, British Telecom I don't think that really counts, though. |
|
If We Got More Letters, We'd Have Small Print
Laugh? I almost lost my rubber flipflops in there. -- Jeff Braine, via e-mail That's what happens when you play poker with the big boys. |
|
What A Darling
No, I'm not angling for the Star Letter prize, honest. (That's good, 'cos you haven't won it - Ed) I just realised that I haven't written to your skillo publication yet. I thought I'd congratulate you on the brillo "Fast Food" features in the previous absolutely brilliant issue of your magazine, and the excellent one before that. It is possibly the best thing I've ever read, but perhaps a bit Americani"z"ed. You really should write a superb feature on the meritorious (yes, I needed a dictionary for that one too) English Fish'n'Chip industry, which is far more preponderate (no, I'm not sure what it means either) than the American-Style Fast Food Places. Oh, and I took a wrong turning a couple of days ago and nearly found out where Yatton was. Then I realised the sign said "Manchester". Chris Young, via e-mail I had a similar experience last time I tried to pay a visit to Jon's house. (Late copy for YS3 earns you a dawn raid.) Somehow I missed Yatton completely and found myself at Land's End. And a nice try, but your David Darling impersonation needs a little work. Still, maybe next time, eh? |
|
Please
Dear Sirs, your magazine is really grate please can I have my prize now? cheers hajo Dear hajo, No. Cheers, The Ed. |
|
Gates' Lovechild Is YS3 Editor Shock Horror Probe!
So do you REALLY get letters? They all seem fake to me... Either that or you've attracted pretty strange people to your magazine. But then thats no great surprise (wink). To be completely honest I don't even know what the Spectrum has done to make people like you worship its very existence and entrance to the minute thought of the human mind. But if it satisfies you then why not? (Oo-er! Ed) My reason for writing this letter was purely out of interest. INTEREST that you have no "I hate Bill" links? Why is this? Has there been a sudden change of heart? Have you recently discovered that you're his love child? URGHHHH sorry for that out burst. Anyway, Spectrum on! If not for the good of this earth but for the hell of it. But remember its people like me who'll be left to do the wondering. To the moon and beyond readers, Yours, Star dust! I was going to start ranting about how the Spectrum has completely changed the course of human history, but that phrase 'Spectrum on!' reminded me so much of the Human Torch that I'm going to put on this cape and spangly trousers and become a Sinclair-related superhero. Spectrum on! (Flash of light as editor transforms miraculously into superhero before hurling himself out of the nearest window, to fall embarrassingly to the ground floor, sprain his ankle, and set out at limping pace towards the nearest Accident and Emergency unit.) |
|
Watching The Vauxhall
Dear YS3, I've been watching the Vauxhall commercials for buying cars on-line, and was wondering if I still get the full range of colours if I was to use a Spectrum. Would I, for example, be able to buy one in glitter green with florescent purple door handles and banana-white finish? Jack, Ontario. You'd be hard-pressed to get one in anything else... |
|
We Only Get Mail For The Girl...
Hello Darlings! Why does it always have to be scantily-clad girls in your page? Why not have something for the... ladies? A nice hunky bloke should suffice. Yours, Quentin Queen Well, the ladies don't seem to be too bothered about it really. We rarely get any writing to us, and when they do they're not really concerned about the gratuitous girlies. Hang on, what's this... |
|
...Or A Guy
Dear Spectrum-Maniacs, I am intrigued to know whether it is your intent to continue focusing your mag to desperate males and lesbians. Being in neither category I hope to bring to your attention that there are those of us who admire the male figure. I hope you'll consider this carefully. Star dust! Well, how about... PS: Please NO SELF Portraits... I assume that you're referring to the monthly Gratuitous Scantily-Clad Girlie. You know, if it wasn't for that feature we wouldn't get any mail at all. Anyway, you claim that we're focused towards desperate males? Well, of course! We know our audience, and they're all desperate, to a man. As far as I know we don't have a female readership at all (or at least, none of them have written to us, apart from you, obviously). Okay, if enough women (er, or men, I guess) write in to request a slight adjustment in design, then we'll consider a page dedicated to Gratuitous Scantily-Clad Guys. (That was remarkably diplomatic. Well done! Jon) It was? Er, only consider, mind. We'll probably just ignore you completely. |
|
Normal Letter In YS3 Shock!
Hi Guys, Just read the latest YS3, great stuff. That bit on remakes was excellent. My latest game has slowed down to a virtual standstill whilst I'm learning DirectX but your article has helped to replenish the levels of enthusiasm. Keep up the good work, Rich. Thanks. It's letters like this that make it all worthwhile. |
|
Hopefully Harmless
Dear YS3, Judging by the letters pages, you have some weird readers, though you probably already knew that. Weird, but entertaining. And hopefully harmless. Burble quack moo-fish. Carie, Southampton. Well, you can't get much weirder than Jon. Oh what a giveaway. |