Burgertime
Welcome to YS3's newest (possibly-regular) feature, Burger Time. The purpose of this section is to meet your second most burning question after five hours of Spectrum nirvana - where can I get something to eat? Perhaps you've just finished Target: Renegade, slammed the Penguin into the nearest lamp-post or out-raced, out-ran and out-classed the other drivers in Outrun, but you're hungry. In fact, you've gone beyond hungry and you're sizing up the family poodle to decide how big a basting tray you need and how long he'll take at 170°C. Well, hold that greaseproof paper my nourishment-starved friend, for in these hallowed pages two lads from YS3, almost like your own Guardian Angels have braved one of the nations top fast-food joints in order to tell you whether or not Diddums should go in the oven.
How Does It Work?

Nathan and Jon, supervised and generally kept out of mischief by Sarah, Nathan's Lady Friend, order a meal each at the Burger Place. Nathan orders a promotional special, and Jon gets a take-away of a popular meal, lets it sit for seven minutes or so, then tests its palpability. While Nathan and Sarah are munching fries and Jon is drooling disconcertingly, questions are posed on six sections of the Place:
  1. Ambience: how pleasant is the atmosphere in the establishment? Does it make you dance or begin to cry uncontrollably into your Fanta?
  2. Food Quality: fairly self-explanatory - how nice is the food? Do you rush to the counter, begging for more or would your poodle turn its nose up in disgust?
  3. TV Advertising: you've seen it. You can't escape it. But how entertaining are the images favouring this establishment that have gone across our screens, past, present, and, oddly enough, future?
  4. Staff: how friendly are the staff? Are they more depressed than you or do they brighten your day? Are their sentences so pre-programmed they get a general protection fault, or are they as natural as natural yoghurt?
  5. Value for Money: how do the prices compare with other such establishments? Are you paying through the nose or saving millions?
  6. Overall: the overall impression and enjoyment factor given by the Burger Place.


Venue: Burger King, Bristol.
Cheapest Single Item: Muffins and donuts are 69p. Each, obviously.
Most Expensive Single Item: the Double Whopper with Cheese at a mighty £2.93.
Cheapest Meal: the Whopper Jnr Meal is £2.99.

Most Expensive Meal: the Double Whopper Meal comes in at £4.19.
Most Used Primary Colour: Red.
Jon Ordered: a Whopper Meal at £3.59.
Nathan Ordered: a Large Rodeo Cheeseburger Double Meal with Bacon which cost, bizarrely, £3.59 also. But he got extra change.


Ambience:
Jon: Depressed patrons slumped at tables and there were neon lights inside, but then they played "Grease". 3/10
Nathan: What ambience? 0/10
Food Quality:
Jon: It was still on the warm side of lukewarm, the burger was tasty and the fries crisp. 7/10
Nathan: The hot side of warm and great fries... The burger has onion rings. (Ominous silence.) 8/10
TV Advertising:
Jon: Today's stuff is pretty abstract: I like it, but it was really embarrassing when I was a lad. Anyone else remember that guy with the funny visor thing? 6/10
Nathan: Scraf. [Translation: Not very good.] 1/10
Staff:
Jon: Helpful, fairly happy and pretty real, but a little slow. 7/10
Nathan: Slow but helpful. (But then, I got extra change.) 6/10
Value for Money:
Jon: According to my (admittedly dodgy) Maths, it's a fair bit cheaper (and nicer) in my local chippy. Goodness. 5/10
Nathan: It would have nought me 1.5 litres of coke, a quarterpounder and small chips at my local chippy. 5/10
Overall:
Jon: 6/10
Nathan: 7/10
Burger King Total: 65%
Good food, acceptable service, precious little atmosphere and rather expensive. But as far as fast food goes (and we're not expecting Chez Louis here), it's not bad. Three stars, if you will.


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