e-mail: letters@ys3.co.uk Star Letter winners receive a real Spectrum game (eventually)!

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Just over a year through, and still people write into the offices. On those cold November nights, there’s precious little else that makes one feel all warm inside and takes away the oppressive darkness of the earlier nights. Apart from a week in Asia, fighting with a group of Guerrilla ninjas for the safety of the free world. Tickets are available from sales@ys3.co.uk, but for those of you with illegal passports, here’s this month’s batch of mail.

Uh-huh Hey! I never said any of that stuff! It's all made-up lies, which is, incidentally, exactly what YSAC consists of. I'll get my coat. Chris Young, via e-mail Tsk, I don’t know. Seems like you can’t trust anyone to tell the truth anymore… apart from YS3, of course, whose inerrent pages can only be matched to that great Christian work, the Koran.

Where have all the slices gone? Dear YS3, I recently bought a box of Mr Kipling's Toffee Cream Slices after they were blatantly plugged in your magazine (I would have bought some earlier, but apparently Mr Kipling had to personally drive them down to the YS3 offices and none of the rest of the country actually got any). Gorgeous as they are, I can't figure out how to eat them without the filling squirting out and ending up in the carpet. I wonder if your magazine would be so kind as to do a feature on how to eat the beasts? Chris Young, via e-mail Looks like you’re a victim of Pseudo-Toffee Cream Slices. They look like the real thing, and taste quite a bit like the real thing, but the difference is in the workmanship. So poor is it that the cream flies out of the edges when pressure is applied, rather then masterfully staying inside despite all the laws of physics as is the case for the real thing. Take them back and call the police, is our advice. You’re lucky to still be alive.

There they are now I've just had a look at the latest issue of YS3. It appears that the whereabouts of Bub and Bob are a subject of speculation. I can exclusively reveal that they are living on my 3DO, PSX, N64, and NeoGeo Pocket Colour in the fantastically addictive game, Bust A Move / Puzzle Bobble. I hope you can use this information to scoop some of the other inferior computer gaming magazines on the web. Cheers, Windy. PS Do you issue YS3 lapel badges like YS used to? PPS If not, why not? Thanks for the info, but a source at Taito reliably informed us that the dinosaurs in Bust-a-Move / Puzzle Bobble are not the real Bub and Bob. They are merely actors, paid to act like those loveable chaps in order to keep the real dinosaurs’ location a secret. We pressed him a bit further, but he told us that it wouldn’t be a secret if he told us what it was. Foiled by such water-tight logic, we had no choice but to give up the search and play Chaos. P.S. No. Sorry. P.P.S. Because we have no money. But if you're really desperate for that badge, then you can print out a copy of the YS3 logo onto some thick card and then sellotape it to a safety pin. Et voila! A lapel badge that you can wear with pride!

Life without you ma’am, is like a blunt pencil... Dear YS3, Isn't your letters page a bit pointless? I mean, if I've got something interesting to say, wouldn't I be better saying it on comp.sys.sinclair now, rather than having to wait a month (Only a month? You'll be lucky. Ed) for you to print it? I notice that you have an article on legal issues relating to emulated software. Since it appears to be completely serious, I claim a Trainspotter for its inclusion. I declare the previous paragraph to be independent of the rest of this letter, in order that its validity as a Trainspotter claim is not affected by any mistakes elsewhere. I'm not falling for that one again. (And I'm sure the back issues page of issue three was originally broken. Damn you.) And a belated happy birthday, keep up the good work... Vincent True, but there’s some (like Bob) who can’t get onto css easily (like Bob) because PCs are evil (like Bob… er, wait), and we really want to create some community here on YS3 with letters and stuff. And I'm making quite good progress now I'm not embodying half the population of England, and parts of Saudi Arabia. And as for the Trainspotter award… no. We can be as serious as the next llama when it comes to the Speccy, and you might be interested to know that the feature was originally submitted in a very humourous font that unfortunately couldn’t be HTML-ised. Oh, how we tried, but it was gone forever, like the frail dust of humanity. And we stand by the unbrokenness of issue three. Oh, yes.

Shameless Praise To all at YS3, Well done on reaching your first year. I sit with a little lump in my throat and a slight itch in my armpits as I once worked with the (I am not worthy) Nathan and watched his dream grow (or did I just watch him dreaming? With all the snoring it was hard to tell.) He and the team have made a very interesting and amusing site which has got better and stronger with each issue and are a recommended site on the award winning http://www.getmegoing.co.uk/ and so with a tear in our eyes the team at getmegoing raise a pair of glasses (or we wouldn’t be able to see where to send this email) to you and your team. Long may you continue to produce such a worthy internet contribution. Three cheers for YS3 Cheers Cheers Cheers Regards, The team at getmegoing Ah, shucks. You’re making us blush. Oh, go on with you, you young scallywags. (Titter.)

Double-mention Dear YS3-Team, since January we had a change in our web-address from http://www.online.de/home/sintech it changed to http://www.sintech.onlinehome.de/ Please do change the address in the Input-Output section. Thanks a lot. Thomas Hokey-dokey. But I’ll put this letter in as well, just in case we don’t. But we will, of course. So this is just in case it doesn’t happen. Unlikely, but, well, who’d have guessed that I'd end up answering all the letters I wrote this month, eh? Oh, what a giveaway.

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