Burgertime!
This month’s Burgertime is rather special, albeit alarmingly food-related. At dawn on Tuesday, a lone traveller reached the YS3 offices out of the mist, draped in a dark cowl. Jon rushed to the door, brushed his hair back and threw the door open, hoping beyond hope that it was Buffy finally returning his calls. That was not to be, however, when the cowl was thrown back to reveal a weather-beaten visage and bushy eyebrows. Once Jon’s hysterical claims that it was his slayer in disguise had been silenced with a cuddly toy, the traveller revealed some priceless information that had cost many good men their lives. The rest of the YS3 crew listened intently as a message beyond all likelihood was delivered, that there existed still a Wimpy store in Bristol.

Unfortunately, the cowled figure then declared that the knowledge must cost them their lives, and proceeded to call forth legions of unholy span from the depths of Hades to tear them limb from limb. Delegating like a pro, Nathan decided that everyone else should keep this dark menace from taking over the world, and ran for the Wimpy outlet as fireworks from the ether itself blew out all the windows in the office and miraculously shot Jon into the cab that the Ed has just called.

How Does It Work?
Nathan and Jon order a meal each at the Burger Place. Nathan orders whatever takes his fancy (he’s a fickle boy), and Jon gets a take-away of a popular meal, lets it sit for seven minutes or so, then tests its palpability. While Nathan is munching fries and Jon is drooling disconcertingly, questions are posed on six sections of the Place:
  1. Ambience: How pleasant is the atmosphere in the establishment? Does it make you want to dance a jig or begin to cry uncontrollably into your Sprite?
  2. Food Quality: Fairly self-explanatory - how nice is the food? Do you rush to the counter, begging for more or would even Jamie turn his nose up in disgust?
  3. Chair Quality: How comfy are the seats in the place? Do they care for your buttocks like the good Lord Himself, or do they injure that most sensitive of rear-areas?
  4. Staff: How friendly are the staff? Are they more depressed than you or do they brighten your day? Are their sentences so pre-programmed you have to wait for the disk to load, or are they as natural as full-cream milk?
  5. Value For Money: How do the prices compare with other such establishments? Are you paying through the nose or saving millions?
  6. Overall: The overall impression and enjoyment factor given by the Burger Place.
Venue: Wimpy, Bristol.
Cheapest Single Item: A Milk Maid ice-cream at 40p.
Most Expensive Single Item: The mighty Half-pounder weighs in at a scary £4.30.
Cheapest Meal: Both the Wimpy Classic and the Bacon Cheeseburger cost £3.25.
Most Expensive Meal: The Wimpy Classic King-size meal at £4.35.
Most Used Primary Colour: Purple.

The Meals:


  Jon - the Wimpy Classic, being the traditional fellow that he is.
  Nathan - the Bacon Cheeseburger, following the success of Burger King’s similar bacon-related-thing.

Ambience:

Jon: Nice and 50s, if a bit solid in its colours. 8/10

Nathan: Just the way I like it!® 10/10



Food Quality:

Jon: It was still warm, bordering on Slightly Hot, with great chips and an OK burger with lots of neat stuff inside. 6/10

Nathan: The chips are great, the coke is excellent… but the burger’s not. 6/10



Chair Quality:

Jon: They have stools! And couch-things! 10/10

Nathan: It would have been nice if the chairs at the PCs were as comfortable as this… 7/10



Staff:

Jon: Polite and pretty helpful, if rather non-plussed. 5/10

Nathan: Punctual, polite, obviously skilled at their work. 9/10



Value For Money:

Jon: Still can’t beat the local chippy… 5/10

Nathan: Chips are very nice, coke is excellent… burger leaves something to be desired, and it’s not that cheap. 7/10



Overall:

Jon: 7/10

Nathan: 8/10

Wimpy Total: 70%
A fine showing by an old classic, still effortlessly out-classing McDonald’s and Burger King. The burgers are rather a let-down after the chips (real chips!) and drinks, but no-one’s perfect. Three-and-a-half stars, if you like, and a warm recommendation to check it out if you can find it.



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