As YS3 gleefully bounds into its second year, the feature that has accompanied us all this time begins to draw to a close. The end of our creative suggestions on what to do during those interminable loading times is in sight, but before you cry and plead with us not to leave you, read these almost-final suggestions and be happy once more. It ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings, and we don’t hear nobody warbling just yet. Well, there is David with his melange of sixties hits, but we kinda take that for granted nowadays.
- We’ll get this one out of the way at the start - write to us. Please. Jon’s multiple-personalities are all going on a package tour next week so we won’t have anyone to do the letters. A postcard, an e-card, some flowers with a card… just… something. Thank you. (This announcement was sponsored by TATWTYS3, The Announcement To Write To YS3. Your statutory rights are unaffected.)
- See how many straw-animals you can make with those bendy straws you use for drinks. It works like balloon animals, but with straws. Obviously. Jamie made a small waterbuffalo last week, which is now causing havoc in Bedminster, ripping up flowerbeds and goring Frenchmen.
- In an effort to become one with the Spectrum, see if you can hum in key with its loading noises. Find the pitch. Howl like an angry leopard. Join the unified nirvana of the ZX. Ohhhhmmm...
- Buy some donuts, and see how many exciting shapes you can build. David’s replica of the Arc de Triomphe has been the talking point of many a party, and is something of a chick-magnet as well, truth be told.
- Watch Twin Peaks in loading-time instalments, making careful notes in a jotter. Hopefully this way someone will be able to tell us what the heck it is all about, then Nathan will be able to get some sleep; he’s spent the last few years writing a program that would decipher it, but so far the only answer it’s given him is “Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the spanner”. He was not best amused.
- See how large an ice-cream - with flake - you can eat before the game loads. Add sauce if you like, but beware that it tends to slow you down, especially that chocolate stuff from Tesco. We’ve done this one so often in the YS3 offices that Jon’s fingers now cover Q, A, W, S, Z, X and D on the keyboard. Still, he does also earn a comfortable allowance renting himself out as a bouncy castle for kids these days. Only £3.99 an hour, call 1-800-BOUNCY-FUN today!
- Sign the YS3 petition to get Sarah Michelle Gellar to visit our offices by sending us an e-mail of confidence today! We keep inviting her with gold lettering and promises of cake and tea, but she doesn’t seem to be interested; so we thought weight of numbers might do it. You could even contribute to a fund to pay for her airfare, but we’d have to open a bank account and none of us can do that if we’re truthful about our pasts. Since we tend to crack up if we lie, you can see the dilemma.
- Show a random non-B5-watching individual the fourth season episode, Into the Fire (the one with the final showdown between the Vorlons, the Shadows, and everyone else), and see if you can satisfactorily explain it to them before the game loads. Picture cards are allowed.
- Watch the bit in Transformers: The Movie where Optimus Prime kicks Decepticon butt before being tragically shot by Megatron. It is so cool!
- Stare at the Technicolor®, changing borders. Lose yourself in their multi-faceted wonderfulness. Like, peace, man.
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