Double Dragon 3
- Virgin - 1992
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[Scene – The Question Time set. Jonathan Hyde is dressed in a suit, sitting on his chair with a clipboard. Roll cameras.]
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. With the introduction of Double Dragon 3 to the Spectrum games market tonight we ask: what makes a good beat'em up? Anyone? You, sir, middle row. A variety of moves, was that? Good – when all you're doing is kicking people in, there needs to be some variety in the way you do it. Ah, lady in the yellow dress, front row. An athletic character to control, eh? Excellent; there's little point in playing a game in which your character does less than you can in real life. Woah, one at a time, please. Yes, you sir, in the green suit… no, not you, the gentleman next to you has had his hand up for longer. Go ahead, please, sir. A variety of enemies, was that? Another variety thing, it seems. Very good, sir – variety is indeed the spice of life, for the remarkably violent as well as everyone else. Yes, sir, I see you've had your hand up for a while. Yes, weapons do indeed help, building on the previous point of variety in ways of disposing if baddies. Anyone else? The gentleman in the… sorry, it's quite difficult to see… all I can see is black, with some white in the middle, and some orange at the top… go ahead. [Squawking.] Fish, was that, sir? Well, I suppose, but… [More violent squawking.] Well, I sorry, but I don't think that a halibut would… [Loud squawking. A plaice narrowly misses Mr. Hyde.] Security! Get that… gentleman… out of here! [The camera zooms in on the disruptive gentleman as he begins to beat the audience members surrounding him with a variety of fish.] Security! [The cry comes too late as the whole audience erupts into a massive brawl. Fists, feet and fish fly.] |
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[Scene – Later. The audience seating lies in ruins. Lights hang limply from their trusses, beams shining in many directions. The set is empty, bar Jonathan Hyde, a cut on his forehead and suit in ruins, and a number of fish on the floor. He sees that we are back and looks into camera 2, behind which we stand.]
Ah, welcome back. You may be thinking that I've become desperate, using such an old journalistic method to make my points, but, hey, I always thought they were fun and added variety to the proceedings. Which neatly brings us back to Double Dragon 3… |
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Let's review the facts: third in the popular, if not classic, Double Dragon series of beat'em-ups. It's simultaneous two player, which is good. You can beat each other up, which is always good for a laugh. In fact, I remember having a pretty good time with Double Dragon 1 and 2 on the Gameboy (until you had to jump platforms… shudder) and the first game on the Atari ST. Heck, I like my beat'em-ups: Final Fight, the Streets of Rage games, Target: Renegade. So, with the pedigree the series possess and the love so many - including myself - profess for games where you can kick people until they are a small, bloody mess on the floor, you may be getting your wallet/modem ready to go out and grab a copy of Double Dragon 3 pronto. Don't do it. And hold those cries of indignation and broken beer bottles for the moment whilst I explain this command. |
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Variety. As I explained using the audience-replies vehicle earlier, variety is essential to any game, perhaps more to the beat'em-up than most other genres. And DD3 (as we lovingly refer to it) doesn't have enough to squish an ant. There are three moves: punch, kick, flying kick. No grabs or throws. No specials. No weapons (unless you spend a credit on them). No back attacks, so don't expect to survive or even retaliate if you get someone on each side of you, unless you stand in a corner. Between one and two enemy sprites per level and a boss. It's pathetic, but not as pathetic as Billy or his mate, who are about as flexible and athletic as the 1782 tiddlywinks team today. Recovery time between punches and kicks is poor (as it is for the enemies) and you need quite a warning before starting a flying kick if you want to contact and not get knocked down as Billy takes his time to get into the air. It's curiously similar to fighting in slow motion, and with enough moves to count on three fingers of one hand it soon becomes tedious. To be honest, my grandmother could do much better. Plus, you get to beat up the same bloke (and maybe his mate) over and over again until the next level; I know beat'em-ups repeat characters, but this is ridiculous. Why not spread the same number of sprites (if not a couple more) over all the levels? I know they're trying to show different countries, but the backdrops are only a token gesture and fact of the similar characters soundly beats the idea over the head with a lead pipe. Also, you get one life per credit (though a fair amount of energy), and you have spend credits in order to get extra energy, lives, weapons at all. Anyone heard of power-ups? Rewarding the player? Giving weapons just to make things more exciting and energy to keep the player alive? And here's something else to throw in the pot: if you walk quickly enough (as you and the baddies move at the same speed – you can't run) and the baddies don't have swords, you can walk to the end of the level and only have to face a few enemies at all. Once you do reach the level's end, the bosses are hugely uninspiring. And the attempts at a plot are humourous but half-hearted. |
| To sum up, this is a terrible finale to an arguably classic series, notable for the incredible absence of good ideas, nice touches, and even acceptable execution. Things we take for granted in beat'em-ups have gone AWOL and even on the Speccy the content is both unacceptable and inexcusable. Just look at IK+, Target: Renegade… in fact, don't just look at them: play them. Just don't even play DD3; get a couple of mates, and jump it when it leaves the pub. It'll hardly put up a fight. |
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