Natalie Mayer wrote: > (SNIP! We don't want anything even vaguely relevant to this thread here...) THE STORY SO FAR: Niall Tracey has returned from exile to find Alan Maxwell's coat empire has extended far across comp.sys.sinclair and beyond. Worse than that, he's kidnapped Natalie Mayer (for no fathomable reason - maybe he's got some chambers that need maiding?) and taken him to his coat warehouse. Having quickly taken care of Alan's henchmen, Niall is forced to throw down his shotgun for fear of Alan doing something nasty with a gun to Miss Mayer. THE STORY NOW: ALAN: Mwahahahahaha! You thought you could come back and just take back your coats? Well, you thought wrong, didn't you? (Begins pacing back and forth behind the still tied-up Natalie.) I've tasted true power, Niall, and I'm not about to let it go. I'm the king of coats around here, and you're too much of a risk to let run around. (Stops pacing.) I'm sorry it's had to come to this, Niall, but I'm going to have to kill you. (Points pistol at Niall.) NIALL: You think you can just shoot me? This early in one of Nathan's posts? ALAN fires. NATALIE screams. NIALL dives to one side, drawing a pistol from his belt and firing back at ALAN, who dives the other way. They both duck behind some coat racks to reload. NIALL takes out another pistol. ALAN reaches into a nearby coat and takes out a machine gun. ALAN: You should have stayed gone, Niall! Now I'm going to have shoot lots of holes in you! Both men leap up from behind their coat racks and run parallel through the warehouse, each firing continuously. While they completely miss each other, bits of coat are blasted out all around them, scattering polythene and plastic everywhere. NIALL's pistols run out, and he throws them aside, taking a machine gun from under his coat. ALAN's own machinegun runs out, and he drops it before taking out another couple of pistols from his belt. They continue running and firing for nearly a minute before they run out of warehouse. Crashing through the flimsy walls, they emerge onto a clifftop. Lit only by the moon, they point their guns at each other and simultaneously pull the triggers. Click. NIALL: Looks like we'll have to settle this the old fashioned way. He throws aside his gun and draws a samurai sword from under his coat. ALAN does likewise. They begin to circle each other warily. ALAN: So, the circle is complete. I am the master now! NIALL: You are weak, and foolish. If you strike me down, I shall perish, but if I strike you down, you will become more powerful than I can possibly imagine. (Thinks.) Oh... bugger. I'll get me coat. ALAN: AARGH! They lunge forward at each other, blades clashing furiously before they back away again and resume circling. Cut to the warehouse. NATALIE is still tied to her chair. There is a quiet squeak as the front door opens, and a crash as it slams shut. Seconds later a new figure approaches, dressed entirely in black and wearing night-vision goggles. Silently he draws a knife and creeps up behind the fair chambermaid. Sensing something approaching, she turns her head as the figure lunges forward, cutting neatly through her bonds. Gasping in surprise, NATALIE turns to see her rescuer - BOB. BOB: Come with me if you want to live. Back on the clifftop, NIALL and ALAN continue their duel. Swords flashing in the moonlight, they lunge and parry and dodge, time and again, each hoping for the other to make a fatal mistake, and each time facing only disappointment. ALAN (pointing): Look! An ostrich! NIALL (turning to look): Where? ALAN: A-HAR! With a victorious yell, ALAN lunges forward to deliver the killing blow to his opponent. Suddenly, however, a small explosion tears another hole out of the side of the warehouse. As both ALAN and NIALL turn to see what has happened, they see a camouflaged penguin running towards them with a chambermaid over his shoulder. He scampers quickly between them and, still carrying NATALIE, jumps off the cliff. NATALIE: AAAAH! BOB: B-bye! NIALL and ALAN look at each other, bemused. The warehouse disappears in a glorious fireball, along with much of the cliff top. As bits of warehouse and coat begin to rain down from the sky for miles around, BOB drifts gently towards the moonlit beach below the cliff, his parachute carrying both him and the rescued NATALIE. NATALIE: Well, I never expected *that*. FADE TO BLACK THE END Nathan -- YS3 - It's not that bad, really. http://www.ys3.co.uk/