     |
| T'zers | ||
The air grows cold and the wind whistles through the gaps in my teeth. Suddenly! Da da daaah! A piercing scream breaks the air... screeeeeeeeeeeech.. I jump out of my skin and all my insides fall out -- bleeeurch. I pull myself together and realise it's the telephone ringing. An eerie voice cackles maniacally and then croaks, "Terra Cognita." It's then I realise it's the Ed reminding me about Terra Cognita -- the new game from Codemasters that'll be out next month. Huh! I settle down again feeling slightly jumpy but maybe that's just 'cos I've got a frog in my throat. Oh yes, whilst we're in frog mode (ribbet, ribbet) Hewson is working on a game called Rana Rama. (Interesting fact: Rana is the zoological Latin name for an aquatic amphibian -- namely the frog!) In it you play a little leaper who has to search round rooms collecting spells in order to defeat the evil wizard. Applause, applause... it's a clap of thunder and it made me start. Trouble was I couldn't finish. And then.., without a warning,., it came -- a flash! Zaaaaaaap! Crash! It was Flash Gordon from Mastertronic -- a bolt from the dark and pretty nutty it sounds too. You're feeling pretty Flash though your spaceship's crashed in a jungle and it's now up to you to find Prince Barin who's in a cave. You've then got to win his respect so you can fight off the wicked Ming -- is he a vase or will he die nasty? And what better way than to beat him into submission... hit me, hit me! Flash -- and then he was gone... Alone again, I tremble as I imagine all sorts of ghoulish things -- headless creatures. Blood spattered vampires, rotting skeletons and Gremlins... Which brings me extremely messily to Gremlin 'just add water' Graphics and its faberoonie games lined up for next year. Keep your eyes peeled for the return of Monty Mole. Nappy noo nahs! That naughty nipper, Jack's back or at least he will be in 1987 in a sequel to Jack The Nipper -- yippee! It's really gloomy now 'cos most of the lights have gone out, Suddenly... da da daah... I feel a tap on my back. I run hot and cold but then I've always been a bit of a mixer. Oh sheet -- it's a ghoooooost! No, it's an apparition -- a Gargoyle even. Yup, it's Greg Follis (though I've no idea why he should be here) who's got heaps of heavy news. First off there's to be a follow-up to the amazing Heavy On The Magick that'll include the Terror Of Tombs module from the original. It's likely to be called Trials Of Therian and it's bound to be a real Spectre-cle. If you're a fan of complete and utter gobbledegook Snark potato croquets could be just up your elbow. Based on the Lewis Carroll nonsense poem, The Hunting Of The Snark, it's an illogical game Brain's faggots that'll make your brain housemaid's knee boggle. Just as suddenly as he'd appeared Greg vanished in a puff of smoke. Splutter... choke... choke. I'm going to have to knock off the spirits 'cos they scare me witless. As I sit silently working away all in a blue funk something moves in the corner. I can feel the hares rising on the back of my legs and it isn't bunny! A dark shadow looms across the wall... I freeze in terror... Phew. It's only Shadow Skimmer, Softek's new release. Thump...thump...thump... I've heard of things that go bonk in the night -- one of them's Gwyn but we won't go into that. Someone's trying to get in... thump... thump... thump... A deathly face appears at the window -- "Let me in" whispers an eerie inhuman voice. Then it dawns (well, it is nearly six am) on me -- it's Tom Watson from Odin/Firebird. "I just had to tell you about The Hive which is all about a swarm of alien bees. Oh, and Hyperball -- that's like Rollerball with jetpacs and, last but not least Cholo." Where was I? With all these interruptions I'll be here all day as well! The Prism Record Corporation has released -- you'll never believe it -- Superman. Holy Krypton. Incentive has plenty up its sleeve too -- Winter Wonderland, a graphic adventure set in the Himalayas (though it's not out Yeti) and The Legend Of The Apache Gold which features eternal life. Both games will appear on the Medallion label. I don't like being here all on my tod -- I keep hearing noises which make my flesh creep. And talking of creeps, John Phillips of Activision (only joshing) has some great news. Little Computer People is to be released on the Speccy 128 only. There's also news of the underwater Knightlore game, 3D Sea. It's got 90 screens that're filled with octopus and squidgy jelly fish (yuk) and you and your mate, an eel, must collect things to build a submarine -- electrifying! Finally Koronis Rift should be rearing its ugly head very soon. You play a scrap metal dealer who's a sort of space-age Steptoe (you derty old man). 'Arold! Oooooooooeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr! Crikey what's that? I'm getting out of here. Umm, before I go I've just got time to tell you about Ocean's new year games Donkey Kong and Mailstrom. Donkey Kong is a platform game where you spend your time rolling out the barrel to defeat Kong. Mailstrom stars a very nawty postman who keep interfering with the male, er sorry mail. Nawty! Clank, clank... jangle. Oh help I can hear chains. Creaking noises emanate from the basement. Thud... thud... thud... argghhh -- footsteps are coming up the stairs. What am I going to do? Swish... swish... the gruesome figure of a man gets closer and closer. Suddenly a bright light fills the room -- oh it's Ron the cleaner and he's just opened the curtains. Thump... thud. That was me fainting by the way. Teresa Maughan
|
