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I looked out onto the dingy street below - it was then he caught my eye (ow) - slim Ricardo 'Tizzy' Tidsall. A shifty silent figure, he was a wanted man. But he was ready to grass if the price was right. I decided to go on down to hear what was happening in the US Gold underworld. "Are you alone?" he asked. Ever since my cat died yeah. "I've got some news from the gang. Metrocross, a whizzy arcade conversion, is out next month. We've also got two new versions of Leader Board. Leader Board Tournament is similar to the original but it's got four new courses and it's really tough. In July there's World Class Leader Beard which has four more courses, three of which are based on courses around the globe. The fourth one is a compilation of real tough holes and the whole lot will have no water but a proper landscape with trees." It sounded a hard story to swallow (gulp) - was the Speccy capable of it? I'd soon find out. I turned and he'd disappeared in a puff of smoke. He'd left a clue though - a scrap of paper with the words 'arcade conversions' scrawled on it. It was all there in black and white. Funny that, 'cos the biro was blue. "Last Mission - an eight level shoot'em up that'll scroll eight ways. Probe Software are the guys responsible and the levels include oceans, deserts, mountains, cities and space ending with a confrontation with the Mothership. Rygar - a left to right scrolling fighting game with a synthesised voice that shouts 'Let's Fight' at the beginning of each round. Hits the streets in August. Solomon's Key - a heavily disguised platform game. Every screen must be solved by building or destroying bricks and finding a key to the next level. Suddenly it dawned on me, there was gonna be a lot of action on the Speccy this Summer. Still, I had a lead. Strange 'cos I'd never had a dog. I pulled out the cable in my mail box (all the street lamps went out) and opened it slowly and began to read, "CRL releasing new games. STOP. Spearhead by Simon Golding who wrote Short Circuit. A helicopter shoot 'em up STOP. Due out in July. STOP. Frankenstein awarded 15 certificate by the British Board Of Film Censors. STOP. Plasmatron - a space shoot 'em up. STOP. Powerhouse releasing a compilation of cheapies for £8.99. No details. STOP." I wondered who this geezer STOP was? He seemed to know a lot. I hurried to the phone booth - I had to make contact with the Big Fish. I shoved in a dime and waited. Brrr, brrr. "Hello." It was him - The Man From Piranha. "Okay, you've tumbled us. We've got a new arcade game coming out in June. The boys'll love it. It's called The Astonishing Adventures Of Mr Weems And The She Vampires and was written by the RamJam Corporation. It's about this failed accountant called Mr Weems, a one-time lion-tamer who's got a rapid fire garlic gun and a taste for vampires. He weems his way into the Mansion of The She-Vampires (the local WI) and vamps his way to the final confrontation with the Great She Vampire herself." I was perplexed - what was I doing in the starring role of a Speccy game. Something fishy was going on and I was the bait. I decided to go hack to the office to see what Red Kippers had turned up. I should've guessed it would only be his trousers. This dude wasn't Streetwise but luckily I'd already found out about the new game - The Sewer. The Fat One had seen to that. It was set... Oh yeah, in the sewer and the Design Design mob were behind it. It smelt - I had to get out of this dump before they got me. Sirens blared everywhere. It was all around town - Ariolasoft was launching a big one - The Challenge Of The Gobots and I hadn't known. I was the chicken stock of the neighbourhood. "What am I gonna do?" I asked aloud. "Pack up the case. With your stuff and get out of this joint" said a voice which was strange 'cos I was alone. It was only the answering machine. Someone had left a message. Gary 'Gatsby' Bracey from Ocean. "Beep. Thought you might want to hear what everybody's talking about. Ocean is bringing out Basket Master, a one-on-one basketball sim with action replay in slow motion close up." I winced. "Yeah, and Wizball, a space game that features a wizard who travels round in a space sphere with his cat... This guy's got guts, I thought. "They move through nine worlds, each of three levels, collecting icons that allow them to do the job. They've got to zap different coloured aliens to fill beakers with droplets of each particular colour to move on to the next world. We've also signed an agreement with Dinamic to market its games over here. Look out for a space adventure called Game Over, an astral playboy's search for a spaceship called Freddy Hardest, and After The War." Click. The tape had run out and I had no hope of catching it. I couldn't think straight 'cos my head was splitting - had they axed me from the job already? So far, I knew that Anco was releasing International Events, a sports sim featuring powerboating, ski-jumping, dirtbike trials, cross country running, hang-gliding, wind-surfing and velodrome. I'd also discovered that Gremlin was planning a sequel to Bounder - Re-bounder due out in late June. Not only that but it was launching The Final Matrix, a sort of Spindizzy/Marble Madness game also out in June. This June kid must be the key - I had to find her. Suddenly there was a tap on the window. Which was handy 'cos I needed a wash. It was only a Jimmy Somerville lookalike by the name of Andrew Wright. He'd climbed up the outside of the 20 storey building to hand me the key to this whole goddam mess. Suddenly, glass crashed everywhere as Red Kippers smashed through the door, his face deathly pale. He pulled a gun. "You'll never sew up this case." he gloated. And then he pulled the trigger. A slug hit me, or maybe it was a snail. A wet patch spread slowly over the carpet, it was sticky to the touch - my blood! It was then I realised it was all over - I was dead meat or very nearly. Red Kippers had always been a weak dick but this! I gasped and panted and my last words struggled from the back of my throat... "Act!... Activision is releasing three sports sims - Baseball, Basketball 2-On-2 and Championship Football in June at £7.99 each. Gasp... pant... an... an... and they'll also be available on a sports pack for £14.99." I slumped down onto the desk, my life-blood flowing from my chest... 'and there are two strategy games on the horizon - High Frontier, a war game based on the construction and use of the Yanks' SDI, and Guadalcanal, an icon-driven strategy game based..." gasp, pant... "on the battle of the same name between... Gasp, pant, wheeze, splurge" (more blood seeped out) "... gasp... the Japs and the Yanks in WW2. Gasp" I'd uttered my last - the case was closed. I should have known Red Kippers would shoot his mouth off and I'd be the loser. Top of the world Ma! Teresa Maughan
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