T'zers

Teresa Maughan Chocolates? No. More T'zers! Chortle chortle... Sade, sorry Noel, it's Slade warbling in the background, So here it is Merry Christmas, Everybody's. . . Phil, get off my foot, you clown! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's arrived -- sorry, it's Ed and he's had one too many... having fun... Caroline's arrived, "Don't you just lurve the Christmas spirit, it's dead good." Especially if it's got tonic in it. Look to the future... And that's just what I'm going to do -- tell you about all the brand new games that'll be out soon. Oh, I'd better warn you I'm at the YS Christmas party, as if you didn't know, so this could be a more riotous T'zer's than usual.     First out of Santa's sack is Madonna -- derty ol' man -- oh sorry, I got the wrong end of the Yule log. It's actually Maradona -- Peter Shilton's Handball Maradona to be precise -- on Argus's new Grand Slam label.     Delving into Santa's sack again... ugh -- an old sock. This is more like it -- Stiff Lip And Co. Sounds like a pop group. It's actually Palace Software's new release that's been written by those guys at Binary Vision and should be out next month.     Wheeee... ain't parties fun... Hey, it's lan 'I'm so wacky' Ellery from CRL strutting his funky stuff. Oh wrong again, he's actually walking to the bar. "While I'm here I might as well let you know what CRL's got up it's sleeve. Ninja Hamster And The Lizards Of Death is gonna be fun. It's also releasing Oink which features Uncle Pig, everybody's fave magazine editor. By the way, where is the Ed? At the pork scratchings again. Apart from that, there's Enchantress and the possibility of Squidgy Alien Golf next year." Mmmm, and you're seeing pink flying pigs I s'pose.     "T'zer" Yes Sara. "There's a telephone call for you." Okay. "Hello, it's Henry Smithson at Audiogenic. Just to tell you to watch out for Icon Graphics 128 for the Spectrum 128 -- obviously. That's it." Thanks Henry and a happy Christmas to you too. Bang! That was me pulling a Christmas cracker -- cor, worra hunk! Anyway, what else has the New Year in store?     On yes, Gremlin is bringing out Auf Wiedersehn Monty which, according to lan Stewart, is the definitive platform adventure featuring that loveable hero, Monty Mole. Also keep your eyes peeled for Krakout, though I've no idea what that's about. Elite is launching BombJack II and a new version of Airwolf. Whoopee! I'm just off to get some cold turkey so I'll leave you in the capable hands of Richard Tisdall. "You really ought to have a peek in my Christmas stocking. US Gold's got loads of Christmas sizzlers. Biff. That's First Night, a boxing game with a brilliant left hook. There's also a Ten Pin bowling simulation called Tenth Frame -- strike a light. Also watch out for Aces Of Aces and Super Cycle. And while I'm here US Gold'll also be marketing Datasoft's new product, Gunslinger, Black Magic and Saracen. Have a great Christmas."     ...I'm back, excuse the cranberry sauce. Ooh I say. And now for some porn, sorry pawn. Well, if you saw how wilted Gwyn's mistletoe was you'd understand the faux pas. Rainbird is presently converting The Pawn, an adventure that was first programmed on the ST, for the 128 and it should be out in the New Year. It's also bringing out Night Orc and the German version of Star Glider. Pass auf!     ...Simply having a wonderful Christmas time... Don't you just lurve all those Christmas singalongs that come but once a year. Talking of coming once a year what has happened to Dr Who -- I know he's a Time Lord but this is ridiculous. MicroPower assures me that the Doctor's not yet dead and once he's fixed his Tardis he'll be on his way.     Vrooom. Squeal. Hey, Virgin is releasing Scalextrics... wheeee... and it should be burnin' its way to the shops about now. Screeech! Phil, being the porker he is, actually swallowed the sixpence in the YS Christmas pud but as yet there's no change. Haw haw! Heh, that looks like Charles Dance over there. No, it's Tom Watson from Firebird -- oh well, never mind, let's hear what he's got to say. "Firebird has now finished The Hive -- contrary to what you read in other magazines. It's also releasing Cholo in January and a game called Kinetik that's impossible to describe. Odin is working on a couple of games -- namely On The Tiles and Scary Monsters -- but they won't be out for a couple of months. Well, I'm off to do a film shoot. Byeel"     Piranha's Don Priestley of Trap Door fame is in a bog (he's in Ireland) at the moment writing its forthcoming release. More details soon. Well, it's really hotting up at the Chrissmash party -- even the Ed's wearing a party hat, though he had to take his toupee off first.     Gary, the Software Manager at Ocean, rang to tell me that it's bringing out Legend Of Kage, an arcade conversion full of ninjas and nasties. And I've just got time to tell you that PSS is bringing out Battlefield Germany, Tobruk, Annals Of Rome and Pegasus Bridge before the beer runs out. Oh, and Mikro-Gen is releasing Digital Graffiti, a graphic and sprite editor that does everything that Art Studio does.     Well, I'm joining in the festive celebrations now -- I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas 'cos I certainly will. Hic! Teresa Maughan

Published in the January 1987 issue of Your Sinclair

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