NEEEEEOOOOOWWWWU
"And ... here... comes... Jack
The Lad, Jack The Lad
zooming into the hairpin bend on her
Honda 150." EEEEEEEOOOOWW!!! "Oh,
and... there... goes... Jack The Lad, just
watch her shooting through the chicane at
breakneck speed!" SCCCRRREEEECH!
CRAAAAASSHH! "Oh... and there's Jack
The... And she's, er... uuuuuurgh."
Motor cycle racing, eh, readers? There's nowt to
beat it - the thrills, the spills, the sitting astride a
throbbing machine in your pervy leathers,
whizzing down an open road with the sun in your
face and the wind in your hair. Shame about
The
Cycles then, 'cos this latest motor cycle racing
sim from Accolade has got more in common with a
bone-shake round the park on your sister's
Raleigh Esprit than a swift spin round the hairpin
bends of Brands Hatch! Hrumph.
That's not how things are supposed to be of
course. No, in
The Cycles the aim of the game is to
whiplash round eight authentic Grand Prix circuits
in the hope of becoming Motorcycling Champ of
the World. But flippin' heck, even before you can
rev up and speed out onto the track you've got to
plough your way through the usual barrage of
'options'! You know the sort of thing... What kind
of race - Practice, Single or Championship
Circuit? What kind of difficulty level - Beginner,
Levels Two, Three, Four or Pro? What kind of
mean machine...? And so on.
Finally, of course, you do get to hit the tarmac,
straddled across your bike viewing the track from
a first-person viewpoint, which, I must admit,
works very well- it certainly makes a change from
the usual overhead or view-from-behind
perspectives you normally get in these kinds of
games. But what follows as you actually begin to
manoevre (or try to manoevre) your mean machine
around the course lets the whole show down. The
simple Left/Right/Brake/Accelerate control system
for steering the bike is just so heavy and
lacking in a centralising force that it makes the
game virtually unplayable.
Imagine, there you are accelerating away
from the starting line, with the screen scrolling
smoothly towards you, the sun in your face, the
wind in...
(Yes, yes, get on with it! Ed) when you
see a sharp right-hander approaching on the
course map that charts your progress in the top
left-hand of the screen. Yikes! Better move over
to the left so I can slip smoothly through the
bend, you think. Just a quick tap on the Left
control and... aaerghl You're right out on the
grass verge! Quick, move right to get back on
the track. Double aaargh!
You're now skidding all
over the grass verge on
the other side. Basically,
you end up spending the
rest of the race
continually toggling Left
and Right to make your
wibbly way through the
course. Double triple
aaargh!
A responsive steering
system is the major element
of any racing game.
The
Cycles doesn't have one.
And what that means is that
all the other good elements,
like the smooth scrolling,
the way you can keep an eye
on the other competitors
with the on-screen 'radar'
map, and the variety of races
and skill levels you compete
at, are totally redundant.
Nope, suck to your Raleigh -
at least you'll be able to go
in a straight line!
| Ratings given by other magazines |
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| Info supplied by the SPOT*ON database |