Gosh, I'm just so busy putting Your Sinclair together, month in and month out, that I never get to watch anything on TV. It's a real bummer. By the time I get in, all that's on is Newsnight or Prisoner. So you'll understand when I say that I've never seen Round The Bend on ITV
    This is a bit of a shame cos it seems to be the weirdest thing out. And you know me - I like a bit of weirdness. Just last week, for example, I saw a parrot disguised as a golden retriever swimming across the River Avon. (That is weird, Ed) Anyway, back to Round The Bend. Apparently Doc Croc, the editor of a comic, has blown up the printing press and all the bits have ended up in the sewer. Lou Brush (where do they get these names from?) has got to round up the guys, and get them to collect all the pieces. Yep, it's a mad race-against-time jobbie.
    Using arrows, you've got to select a drain and a character, then it's time to set off into the depths of the sewers. It's a standard underground platformer (except that the platforms are covered in poo). As you'd expect, there are things to avoid, jump over and rush past. Collision detection is good and this part of the game is tough and demanding, but you'll always want to have just one more go. As you get further into the game, it naturally gets tougher. Bats, owls or something fly at you, forcing you to move pretty sharpish. Tricky stuff.
    After a while you'll come across bits of the printing press and small punchline-collecting sub-games to beat. These are single screenies and the general idea is to get your character from top left to bottom right along a load of levels whilst avoiding whatever happens to be bouncing around. As you move to the right of the screen on each platform level, you appear on the one below. Y'see, you sort of go down in steps. So although you're on one screen, you've got quite a bit of walking and avoiding to do. Sounds a bit boring doesn't it Spec-chums? Well, that's cos it often is, what with all that walking and avoiding to do. Never mind, at least it makes a change from all those smelly sewery bits (there's no poo, for a start).
    What else? Oh yes, there's something incredibly disturbing called John Potato's Newsround. Every time you complete a page, John Potato appears and gives you a few bonus points. Strangely, he doesn't look even slightly like John Craven, who I suppose it's meant to be. It just looks like a Potato. It's enough to make a grown man weep.
    To be fair, Round The Bend is strange but certainly fun for the most part. It's big enough to keep you playing for ages, it's not too difficult and it looks nice, even if it is a bit monochromey. Come to think of it, I wish there was a bit more colour around. It really does make a difference you know. Are you listening, Zeppelin? Apart from that gripette the game also lacks that indefinable something that makes certain games classics and worthy of the green felt Megagame hat. But (almost) full marks for such a weird game anyway, dudes - there's some good decent and honest silliness in there. Right, I'm off to lick the road clean outside a windmill factory. (Off you go then, Ed)
    Subterranean Sub-Game Blues

There are eight punchline screens, so don't bother counting 'em. Let's have a peek, shall we? (Oh yes please. Readers Voice)
    
True Romance
You play someone called Stuart, who's in love with someone called Karen. Avoid Cupid and his arrows.
Nursery Crimes
Now you're Miss Muffet with a tuffet in tow. Watch out for the spiders.
Bouncing Benny
Ooh, it's one of the Oddbod family. This bloke, er, bounces around a lot. Nuff said.
Fatman
This guy is so amazingly fat that he'll certainly flatten you. And I don't mean flatten you a bit, but squash you completely. Ugh
The False Teeth Versus The Atomic Banana
No, I absolutely refuse to try and describe this immense stupidity. I just won't do it!
Pzycho The Magnificent
He chases you around using special secret mind-power. What a load of crap, eh readers?
The Vegetables
Zeppelin inform us that "The ever popular Australian soap, The Vegetables, are holding a skateboard race. As usual, calamity is only around the corner, so watch out for crashes and mixed salad." Quite.
Kenny McTickle And His Magic Kilt
Wild bagpipes leap out from under Kenny's kilt and chase you over the Cairngorms.
    It is the considered YS Conclusion that Zeppelin have gone as mad as a Hungarian railway cutting. Round The Bend is exactly the right name for a game which will reduce your sanity to an origami fish with flapping carrots.
    

Many thanks to Andrew West for typing this up

Ratings given by other magazines

7/10      5/10

Info supplied by the SPOT*ON database