The Rogue's Gallery 3 - Marcus and Jonathan

"I have never been more constantly sozzled before or since" "I've no idea if those hex dumps actually worked"

Dan Whitehead They made us laugh. They made us cry. They made us use words like "wibble". They were, of course, the salty seamen (and seawomen) at the helm of the good ship Your Sinclair, and they steered a bold course through the rocky shallows of the ZX Spectrum lagoon. They were the people who made it happen. Heroes. Scoundrels. Legends. Some claim these intrepid few are merely the half-remembered remnants of some fog-wreathed myth, etched into the primeval human consciousness like King Arthur, Robin Hood or Jeff Minter. Others believe they were the vessels for some benign other-worldly intelligence intent on planting the seeds of global harmony like ET, Starman or Jeff Minter. But they were real. They exist. They live! We found them; we quizzed them. Here's the whole sordid story in their own words...      MARCUS BERKMANN "I have never been more constantly sozzled before or since" Your YS nickname? I'm not sure I ever had one, at least not while I was working there. Only Snouty and T'zer had nicknames, as I remember. Any more and I think people might have started throwing up.      What did you do on YS? I started in about November 1986 as Staff Writer, and I think my first issue was January 1987. There were four of us on the editorial staff - me, Snouty, T'zer and Sarah Biggs, the Production Editor. The first two were still there when I left, but Sarah went off before I did, for reasons I can no longer remember (other than she was pissed off with the whole thing). We had several replacements, none of who were much good until Jackie Ryan came along. I rose through what we laughingly called the hierarchy until reaching the extraordinary heights of Deputy Editor. I left in June 1988.      What have you done since? I went because my freelance career, which I only had time for at evenings and weekends, was earning me more than the pitiful wages Dennis Publishing had to offer. For several years afterwards I was first pop critic and then TV critic of the Daily Mail. I have also written a column about pop music for The Spectator since 1987. I later wrote sports columns for Punch, The Independent On Sunday and the Daily Express; I'm now film critic of The Oldie and contribute regularly to Private Eye.      Carry on again doctor up the Khyber etc etc Between 1993 and 2003, I was a regular voice on LBC in London, usually talking about TV. I have published several books, including Rain Men (1995 - about cricket) and Brain Men (1999 - about pub quizzes), and I edited a Private Eye book last year. I've just finished a book on fatherhood (out in Feb) and have started a follow-up to Rain Men (out next June). And I wrote a small but pleasingly lucrative proportion of the first two series of Monkey Dust. There's another series in production but the books have got in the way. Is that enough? Or far too much?      What is your abiding memory of the Your Sinclair years? Mainly the vast amount of lager we drank. I have never been more constantly sozzled before or since. We used to work long hours and go straight to the pub afterwards and sit there all evening. It was totally absorbing. After 18 months I was exhausted. But I had learned a hell of a lot. I'm sure it's helped my writing since. Also I made a couple of good and long-lasting friends.      Favourite Spectrum game of all time? Head Over Heels. But you must understand that I binned the Spectrum many, many years ago, and stopped playing all computer games five years ago when my daughter was born. So my memory is hazy.      Tell us a YS secret that you can now share with the world... Hmm. I'm sure you know that Rachael and Gwyn were the same person, John Minson, although for the life of me I can't remember why. Also, we genuinely thought we were the best Spectrum magazine out there, and I think that made us the best Spectrum magazine out there. I don't think it was ever as good after Teresa left, but then I think its time had passed. But I'm rather fascinated, and thrilled, that YS seems to have meant so much to so many people, which I think shows that we were doing something worth doing. Even if we seemed to do it half pissed and half hungover...      JONATHAN DAVIES "I've no idea if those hex dumps actually worked" Your YS nickname? Jonathan. All the good nicknames had already been taken.      What did you do on YS? I ran the YS Tip Shop for a while, and also found myself presiding over Program Pitstop, the pages no one at YS understood. Including me. I've no idea if any of those hex dumps actually worked.      Brian May (or is it Anita Dobson?) gives away a radio-controlled Ferrari What have you done since? Since YS I've done various other mags, like Amiga Power, Super Play, PC Gamer and N64 Magazine. I also did the website for Top Gear, the telly programme. But generally it's been a gradual and, I'd like to think, dignified descent into obscurity.      What is your abiding memory of the Your Sinclair years? Blimey. Erm. Let's think. It would probably be "blimey" and "erm", two words you don't see often enough in magazines these days. And most reviews beginning "Driving games, eh?" (or whatever) and then sort of rambling on till they reached the bottom of the page. And the competition to win a radio-controlled Ferrari Testarossa, illustrated by Jackie Ryan clutching the prize below the heading "I've Got a Big Red Testie!".      Favourite Spectrum game of all time? The one I played most was Jet Set Willy (after poking it with infinite lives, of course). I also loved all the Ultimate games up until Nightshade (ugh), and Costa Panayi's games were brilliant - TLL, Highway Encounter and the like. And I wasted hours annoying the undead in Zombie Zombie.      Tell us a YS secret that you can now share with the world... Remember Farty the Warthog? Well... he didn't actually exist! It's true! You read it here first.      The team emerges from the shed for one final photograph, professing that YS is crap (in a funky skillo kind of way) Many thanks to the YS94 crew and Imagine Publishing for providing tons of original material!

Published in the 2004 Special issue of Your Sinclair

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