JUMBLY SALE
After three years of sleepless nights please help me. Please ask anybody or everybody what are the other nine titles for Jumbly? I'm going around the bend with no hopes of coming back. (Byeeee! Ed).
Robert Martin
Gillingham, Kent
PS I have Trains, Nursery, Vertigo, Tunnel, Flight, Jumbly, Plans, Window and Verse.
PPS I don't expect or wish for prizes, acclaim or gifts, just peace of mind and sleep!

Still, I think you should get some sort of award for perseverence. I ask you, Jumbly! In fact, I had to ask everyone, Jumbly? In the end the collective memory dragged up the game - we found it under a bit of old solder, a copy of The Complete Spectrum ROM Disassembly and a smelly sock tucked away in Troubleshootin' Pete's cerebellum (well, he doesn't have much call to go in there too often!) - but even he couldn't remember the first thing about it. And anyway, after three years of non-stop playing you're probably the world's leading authority on Jumbly. But just in case, can anyone else have a good clear-out of the cortex and come up with the missing titles? Ed

HULL'S ANGEL
Just thought I'd drop you a line and tell you wot I think of 'ver' mag. As you can tell by my appalling spelling, I's a student. I'd settle down m a comfy chair with tea and biccies though if I were you, because it's a rather long line. ( S'okay, the red pen's at the ready! Ed).
    Firstly, I'd like to wish T'zer a happy birthday for 27 June. Sorry I sent no jelly, ice-cream or card. (I am a student you know!)
    Also while we're on the subject of T'zer will you please stop 'having a go' at her Ed (Who me? Ed). Yes you, don't look so surprised. If you by any miracle of a chance publish this letter un-edited could you print at the end Miss T'zer's likes in music. Or should that be Ms? (No, no it's Mis, as in Mis Take! Ed. Will you stop 'having a go'. And as for my taste in music... We unfortunately haven't got the space to go into it! Ed.)
    Well I suppose I'd better get down to the moans and there are a few. Firstly, I most strongly object to Rachael's inference that Hull is an industrial town. Look I know Hull isn't exactly the metropolis of England but it certainly ain't a fish market, or a factory town either. (We're not all thick north of Watford you know). Secondly, there are two sections of the mag which are too short. I refer, of course, to ZZKJ's and Ian Hoare's bits. Hacking Away should be three pages minimum and Ian's two min. Lastly, I wish you'd get rid of the pull-out proggy bit. On the whole it's boring. I don't know anyone who buys your mag who types 'em in, and I know loads of people. Well, more than three anyway.
    This letter is copyright Spike and may not be edited by the Ed, or pratted about with by Troubleshootin' Pete or Art Ed. This letter may however, be tampered or edited by anyone but the above mentioned. (Oooh, that's better. I've just had a good tamper with your bits and it's done me the world of good. T'zer.)
Spike alias Dave Shortman
Hull, E. Yorks

This letter is released on behalf of the Kingston-upon-Hull tourist board.* Holiday in Hull, the quiet seaside resort on the east coast, enjoy a cream tea on the village green, swim in the crystal clear waters of the secluded coves, ah, the sun, the sea, the sand, the cesspits... Ah Hell! Ed
    *This is an All Hull Breaks Loose Production.

DEAR TERESA
What can I say apart from that without you the mag would be another cheapo rag like another Spectrum mag on the market at the moment. (Its title is what you get if you plug your Speccy into the 240 volt supply!) How about having a go at the Ed to give you a lot bigger spot for your devoted fans to read. Out of the Spectrum owners I know we held a poll to see who we thought was the most classy young lady currently seen, read or listened to and here are the results.
    Teresa Maughan 1 st
    Leslie Ash and Tracy-Louise Ward Joint 2nd
    Anne Diamond 3rd
    Keep smiling and don't let the fascists get you down!!
Hackman, Orson, B J,
Foxy, Kenny, Bad Boys
and Porky!!!!!!
L.C.S. Lowestoft, Sussex

Well what can I say... T'zer That doesn't usually stop you from saying something - at great length! Ed

FOXED HER
Who's a clever boy then matey...
    Well, I've done it boys (no, I don't mean that I've taken out a ten year subscription for this most wonderful, stupendous, magnificent magazine, although I would but it's the money you know.) They gave the impression that it couldn't be done, but when the going gets tough...
    Last night, I loaded into my computer for the first time, and with somewhat shaky anticipation, Sammy Fox for an honest game of snap. I can assure you that my intentions were completely honourable but after a while she started to take off her clothes (drool).
    Now tell me my friend, I am but a humble mortal so how could I tell a lady to stop disrobing in front of my pork pies. (Methinks you've got yer Minders in a muddle! Mince pies is yer eyes, Arfur, pork pies is what you keep telling me! Ed).
    There is only one problem, though I can't play it again (Play it again, Sam - geddit); after getting her in her birthday suit my Speccy suffered a melt down...
LCpl M Palmer
Tunis Barracks, BFPO 22

Now tell me what I could do - okay, I'm not that humble a mortal but how could I tell a Lance Corporal to stop writing me another letter about Sam Fox. This is honestly, absolutely and without a shudder of a doubt the last one. Wah-ay! Ed

STAR LETTER OUT BACK Greetings from Sunny Queensland.     Let me tell you of the unfortunate and yet unavoidable problem I have regarding my Spectrum and this great land I live in. You see, I am a devoted Speccy fanatic trapped in a society of Commodore (wash my mouth out) 64 users. For example, a typical computer-oriented conversation would proceed as follows:     Friend: Which computer do you own?     Me: (proudly) I've got a Spectrum!     Friend: A wot? (rough British translation: Who he?)     As a result, and much to my disappointment, my software collection exists of a measly ten games, a couple of utilities, Tasword II (yawn) and dozens of uncompleted listings from YS (which either I couldn't get to work or were so full of hex data that I kept falling asleep while trying to type them in).     Oh, one thing I did manage to get running was Samsynth, Whoopy doo for that! It's not that I don't like parting with my cash for software but rather that I can't.     As far as I know I am the only person this side of the black stump with a Spectrum. (I know there are a lot of Spectrum owners in Australia but I don't happen to know any of them - and I'm not joking either) and consequently the only major distributor of Speccy software is in Melbourne. This wouldn't be such a problem if they sold any decent software at a decent price. Do you know how much they want for Art Studio? You don't? Then I'll tell you - FIFTY LOUSY BUCKS!!! and that's only for the cassette version! You can imagine how happy I was when I saw your offer of £5 off The Art Studio in YS3.     The other problem with software over here is that you can't get any of it. Some of the top ten software doesn't even make it over here. By the way I'd love to get a copy of YS MegaBasic because ZX Basic is for wimps (and I don't mean Windows, Icons, Mice and Pull-down menus either!). I figure if I can't buy a copy I could always crawl immensely on the off-chance that a spare copy lying around the office might accidently fall into a package with my name and address on the front only to be accidently sealed up and sent off in the mail - after all, accidents do happen! Actually I've been looking for a language that's procedural and can do totally amaaazing things just like MegaBasic. Just my luck I can't buy it. Or can I? C J Gorle North Rockhampton, Queensland PS I don't particularly want a trainspotter award (coveted though they may be), they're not worth a Dingo's kidneys Down Under. I'm not even asking for this letter to be awarded a Star Letter. Well, it is whether you like it or not. Actually, I reckon you're gonna like it 'cos I'm sending you this month's bundle of free software. Hang the expense, pass the book of stamps and get licking, slaves. But you're going to have to buy your own copy of MegaBasic. The good news is it's only going to cost you £7.95 plus £2 to cover postage payable by International Money Order, so you can't really complain. Can you? Ed

GRAND DAME
As an ancient female I've been keeping quiet; I keep knocking the blades off my Tomahawk and I don't get far with my adventures as I have this awful urge to press red buttons and go through doors with 'Exterminator' on them; I don't know what all these POKEs and PEEKs do, and I can't dump a Hex - what's a Hex?
    BUT, I don't dump my Speccy in the washing up or send it up the vacuum (Sucker, YS7). I've got a dust cover. And I did know what the little button was on the side (Lancashire Hot Shot). Told you I have this mania for buttons! Does he know about the little legs on the bottom?
    Like the magazine (second childhood!). I might even retire for six months to type in one of the programs! Any more wrinklies and crumblies out there? Besides the Ed, of course!
Grandma Julie Singer
West Croydon

I dunno, older people these days - no respect for their youngers. Gallivanting about all day long and playing with these computer jobbies. What is the world coming to? I might even retire for six months to take a rest from all the insults! Ed See you at the next YS disco Julie! T'zer

ON THE RATES
Thank you for printing my letter on that comic strip and for your reasonable reply - although I don't agree with you. I don't think that the argument that 'it's okay because others do a lot worse' stands up to too close a scrutiny; also, my comment on fantasy/reality concerned the concepts implicit within the story and not the actual story itself - I should've explained myself more clearly. I would agree now that some of my adjectives could have been toned down somewhat but I was rather annoyed at the time.
    Anyway, on to something else. I've been trying to sort out your review rating system, and I'm not doing too well. Looking at the July issue, for example, the points for games with a rating of 8 vary from 29 for Rock'n'Wrestle to 34 for Countdown. And yet there are others scoring only 33 which not only get a 9 overall but a megagame rating - Kirel and Bounder.
    Also, ratings do not always seem consistent with the reviewer's comments. Mantronix has 'little variation' but gets a 7; Legend Of The Amazon Women is 'slightly more exciting than watching paint dry' but gets 8; Hocus Focus 'doesn't have enough content' and 'the main challenge is beating the monotony' but gets 9 (gremlins?).
    And there were an awful lot of megagames that month. Eight! Of course, original games like Heavy On The Magick and The Planets must deserve it but do we have to encourage some of the others? Bounder is, no doubt, well programmed but it's just a cleverly disguised ladders and levels game. And who would have paid £16 for a version of Highway Encounter with twice as many screens because that's pretty much all that you end up with in total if you get Alien Highway as well!
    Of course, you can't avoid some personal preference by reviewers for certain types of games, which must influence their ratings at times, and giving the names against each review helps readers to make allowances for this. But I think it would help if you could give an explanation of how the games are scored and how the overall rating is worked out. Also, who assigns the Megagame status? Is it the reviewer, an editorial collective or the Ed?
    And do I get a prize for the most obscure trainspotter claim? (See if you can find it). And how come the Ed is still getting his parenthisised comments in the magazine when he's been kidnapped - who's the imposter? And why are Your Sinclair binders twice as thick as they need to be?
    Can these questions be answered? Can I end this letter without asking another question? Yes or no? No.
    (Sorry, yes - or is that no?)
    Whoops!
Jim Grimwood
London E16

And the answers are yes, no, maybe, only on Wednesdays, certainly not - you know it's illegal, yes, yes please, hmmm, a Tupperware dish and not on your nelly. Not necessarily in that order...
    Oh, you wanted answers to your questions! Firstly, Hocus Focus was a cock-up - the nine was an upside-down six. Well, that's my story anyway...
    Otherwise it was a very good month -- and while Bounder may not be as original as The Planets, if you're looking for a good arcade game then you'll be hard pushed to find better around at the moment. The main thing to remember about the ratings is that the overall score is not an average of the other marks (though it often comes out like that) but a separate score that sums up the reviewer's total impression. But in the end it all comes down to personal preference - not just the reviewers' but yours. That's why you were immediately attracted to Heavy On The Magick and The Planets and dismissive of Bounder. Someone else might leap at that and rate the other two as v. Boring. We have to cater for all tastes (getchore ice creams 'ere) so we're looking for quality no matter what type of game. And what makes a megagame? Me. I look for the games that break the nine barrier and award them in a short and private ceremony. Well, I have to do something on the mag! Ed

BEEP OFF
Firstly I would like to say your mag is great but I can't because everytime I lie my nose gets bigger. But I jest.
    However, in your recent music special (YS7) you gave a variety of hints and tips about MIDI and computer MIDI interfaces. Knowing a little about music (busking outside Woolworths) I would like to point out a few minor details. There are many excellent MIDI drum machines that are considerably cheaper than the Casio RZ1, such as the Roland TR505 and Yamaha RX21 which are both MIDI and are both under £250. Secondly, I would like to point out that a synth with MIDI capabilities can be purchased for less than £250 if you're willing to shop around. Take a look at a music mag like Melody Maker or Sounds.
    So, if you thought where am I going to get £600 for a keyboard and drum machine, this may give you a little more hope.
Martin Collier
Newport, Gwent

Well we did try, honest. But you're right, and it's always a good idea to have a look at second-hand equipment. Ed. After all, that's how the Ed got his brain. T'zer.

VORSPRUNG DURCH TECHNIK
What about this? Are you having compatibility problems? Do many of your old 48K games not run on your new 128K Speccy? Try this. If you have an Interface III (maybe it also works with a multiface or one of the others), make a microdrive copy with your old 48K Spectrum of the program which you wish to use with the new Speccy. Take the Interface I and connect it to your 128K. Now you should be able to load all the progs in 48K mode.
    Another tip for the owners of an Interface III. If you wish to use a POKE you don't have to make a new microdrive copy of the program. You can integrate the POKE in the Basic header of the Interface III md-file like this:
    10 CLEAR 24........
    20 LOAD *"m";1;"PROG 1 "CODE: POKE ....... : LOAD * "m "; 1 ;"PROG2"CODE:RAND USR.......
Eduord Eversberg
Hagen, West Germany

A goodie. If anyone else has any tips for the 128K, send them in as we're in the process of compiling a special update feature on the machine as soon as we've got enough material. Ed

IT MUST BE LURVE
Dear T'zer
    I am totally, utterly, head-over-heels and also very much in love with you. What is more, my heart is going through total agony because I have never seen a picture of you.
Name and address withheld by request.

That's nothing to the agony you'll go through when you have seen a picture! OUCH!!!! Will you stop knocking me about. Ed
    

UNWORTHY
Okay, YS this is the last straw. Listen up Art Ed.
    This month I almost didn't buy YS due to the absolutely terrible cover, but then I gave in and decided to write a furious letter instead. I must say I felt like I was buying the Beano instead of an intellectual computing magazine. (Just call me Dennis... Art Ed.)
    I realise that your covers probably appeal to the younger games player and definitely stand out on the shelf but I think if you design a cover that's not an embarrassment to walk around with or sit on a train, then you might get a few more readers and lose less.
    Maybe a few imaginative photos or if you really must stick with the artwork style, then how about some computer generated Tron-style graphics.
Nick Kenworthy
Southampton

Tron-style graphics! Where've you been for the last five years. You'll be screaming for Roger Dean* covers next! Art Ed Oh, I quite like Roger Dean's stuff. Ed You would. Art Ed.
    *Art Ed's note for arty-fartyists: Roger Dean did those slick pics with floating islands and metal elephants that adorned all the Yes album covers when the Ed was a lad and had long hair, sorry cut the word long ie at the dawn of record history (1971).

SCOOB STORY
C'est moi, c'est moi. Je claim le trainspotter award pour zis month.
    C'etait Mademoiselle T'zer Maughan pour making le boo- boo d'about Scooby Doo. C'est ne pas Scooby Scooby Dooo, c'est Scooby Dooby Dooo. Vous can either send moi le Graphic Adventure Creator by Incentive (plus un YS badge) or je will unleash ze millions of Scooby fans.
Paul "Romantic Robot'
Cook
St Leonards on Sea
PS It's hard for us 13 year olds to raise £22.95 so give generously please!

If you think you can get a trainspotter award just by sending us a spurious French letter...ooh er, ... a letter written in a spurious French accent, no way. Lucky for you Incentive doesn't take such a dim view and if you rush off to the Adventure pages you'll find a compo with fifteen copies of GAC up for grabs. But there'll be no rushing off till you've finished the Letters - and no leaving anything on the side of the page or trying to hide it under your knife and fork either. I know all the tricks! Ed
    

SMALL PRINT This is the fourth time I've written to you without reply so print my letter!!!!     Yours small printingly Graham Swift Eastleigh, Hants Give me one good reason! Ed Please leave out the bits in this letter that can get me "done" for slander etc. Nicholas Clark Friday Bridge, Cambs Doesn't leave much does it? Ed How in the world did you get such nice looking females on the YS team? Nick Annles Huntingdon, Cambs How in the world do we get such good photographers on the mag you mean ! No, to be fair it's all down to my charm, boyish good looks and OUCH! Ed And there's more where that came from! T'zer

Doodlebugs