We know you. You're a nipper
at heart, aren'tcha? You
little weasle! What wouldn't
you do, eh? Given half a
chance you'd be nipping
around town causing trouble. Nah,
don't you look at us with those baby
blue eyes, you don't fool us. You'd like
to play a game called
Jack The Nipper,
the tale of the naughtiest boy in the
whole town.
One evening, when his mum and
dad thought he was fast asleep, Jack
fell against the side of his cot and
bingo, it was open. He was
freeeeeeee! Now all he had to do was
get his trusty peashooter down from
its shelf and he could sneak out and
cause lots of lovely mischief. Heh heh
heh.
Having procured his 'shooter and
made it as far as the living-room the
problems of getting around town
become clear. Being such a notorious
nipper, everyone recognises him and,
if they catch him, they give him a good
smack. Every time he gets a smack
(and this is a natural reaction, and I
should know. Never mind how!) he
wets his nappy, and there's nothing
like a wet nappy to bring on the old
nappy rash. Once you reach a certain
saturation (yuk!) of 'rash' you lose a
'life' - or to put it another way,
change your nappy? You've only got
five nappies so you have to box clever
to avoid any close encounters of the... er... spanking kind.
Throughout the game there are over
twenty naughty, nasty, evil, not to say
devilish, pranks, japes, wheezes and
plain dirty tricks. You can send the
launderette into a spin. You can glue
up the teeth in Gummo's Munching
Molars. You can even put a sock in it
at Hummo's Socks, or put a credit
card in it at the Bank. And frankly,
scaring the cats at the Police station
(and the other places they can be
found) is a hooting good way to pass
the time.
So, what's this nipper got that other
games lack, hmm? Well, for starters
the game contains surprisingly bright
and loud sound effects of genuine
arcade quality. The graphics virtually
leap off the screen at you. All the
characters are nice big, well masked
sprites, which avoid any attribute foul-ups the sensible way, by having
mostly one colour throughout any one
scene. And the graphics have that
comic book look, but not your
American superhero type, more the
Beano and
Dandy style.
The Bash Street
Kids are back!
Jack The
Nipper will be a
confident hit I'm
sure, bearing, as
it does, all the
hallmarks of a
lasting favourite.
Heh heh heh.
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