Please can I have a
dragon? (No. Ed) Just a little
one - I could keep it under my
desk. It wouldn't be any
trouble, honest. (Sorry, Linda, you can't
have one.) But I could take it to the park in
my lunch hour and train it to drink coffee
from the machine. And it'd keep the office
warm in winter. (Look, Linda, it just
wouldn't fit.) But I only want a little one.
Oh, okay. I guess I'll make do with this game for
the time being. It's got loads of dragons in it, and a
dwarf and lovely little blue elves too. Yep, riding
dragons and killing people - that's the life for me.
For the handful of you who don't know,
Golden
Axe is Virgin's big Christmas coin-op conversion, a
highly colourtul two player
D&D style beat-'em-up. The arcade
original was as
playable as, erm, a
very playable thing,
and the Speccy
version is remarkably similar -
it has all five horizontally-scrolling levels of the
arcader (packed with oodles of baddies), between-level maps outlining your route, and (most
impressively) bags of smoothly animated colour.
Most of it is set in front of a plain black
background which saves on attribute clash - the
only time things get hard to see is when you're
surrounded by baddies, when it's a bit of a jumble.
But before we really get into the game there's a
bit of a complicated plot bit to explain, I'm afraid.
You see, Death Adder and his men have pillaged
their way through the kingdom of Yuria
(as bad guys do), taking the King and
Princess captive. What's more, DA has
also got his slimy reptilian mitts on the
legendary Golden Axe. It is up to you
to... ah, but I'm sure you can guess the
rest.
Before we can get stuck into the
fighting though you've got to choose
your character. You too can be a
barbaric warrior, a flame-haired
amazon or a bouncing dwarf, each with
a suitably revenge-filled reason for
wanting DA dead. All three can
manage a handful of fighting moves -
slashes, kicks, jabs, and a jump-in-the-air-and-stab-the-rotter-in-the-head-on-the-way-down one, the computer
picking the attack it uses each time
you press Fire. Beyond that, all the
characters have their own individual
moves - a shoulder barge for the barbarian, a
flying kick for the girlie - and limited magical
powers for those tricky moments. These work as
sort of smart bombs, wiping out the less powerful
baddies on-screen, and knocking wodges of
energy off the others. How powerful they are
depends on how many bottles of potion you've
collected from these rather sweet little blue goblins
who run around every now and then, most
noticeably in the little bonus bits between levels.
Clout one round the head and he'll drop a couple
of bottles. Collect them and whammo! Your
magic's no longer a weedy series of bangs
popping across the screen, but a massive, baddy-crippling explosion of nuclear proportions.
But let's get on with the game, shall we? The
screen won't scroll 'til you've killed off the first lot
of baddies, which actually takes some getting to
grips with, before developing into a sort of forest
affair. What you really want to do is snatch the first
opportunity to get yourself a dragon - knock a
baddie off one, clamber onto the hot seat and you
effectively double (if not triple) your slashing
power. Dragons come in various sorts - some
flame breathing, some odd chicken-like ones
which hit things with their tails - but they're all
super-useful to have, especially when taking on
the big end-of-level baddies. Watch out though -
the baddies will want their mount back!
At the end of each level big baddies come in two
sorts - big white men with swords, and big green
and yellow men with hammers - and various
combinations. Kill them (it is possible) and you'll
get to the next level, which in this case is the Turtle
Village (so called because it's built onto the back
of a giant turtle, though that's not apparent in the
Speccy version). Here you'll take on some really
mean chicks with lethal lightning-shaped swords
before crossing a bridge to Level Three and Eagle
Island (perched on a giant eagle's back) which is
populated with
Jason And The Argonauts-style
skeletons. Eventually you'll get to a castle and
your final showdown with slimey old Death Adder
himself. Kill him and wa-hey! You're a complete
and utter hero.
You can now sit back, breathe freely and think -
wow, what a good game. I know I did. I have no
massive niggles with this one at all - it's a painful
multiload, the colour clash can be a bit ugly and,
despite being bags of fun, the two-player option
would be better if the heroes could fight each other
(as in the arcade) - but considering the limitations
of the Speccy it's great. Plus there are loads of
dragons and elves in it. What more could a girl
possibly ask for?
| Arcade version screenshot... |

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