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The rich have a long
tradition of being slightly
eccentric. Take Jean Paul
Getty, for example. More
money than a giant
redwood has atoms, and rumoured to
like sleeping in a barrel. Or something.
Anyway, the millionaire in Bonanza
Bros is a case in point. He wants a
couple of crims to rob his places of
business just to prove it can be done.
What a loony, eh? Probably spends
his free time wearing pyjamas and
ruing the loss of his sledge.
As befits a Japanese coin-op conversion, Bonanza Bros is replete with preposterous names. The screen glows with such luminaries as 'Mobo,' 'Robo,' er, 'Bonanza,' 'Sega,' 'US Gold,' and 'Program: Bonanza.' Actually, the game doesn't feature many stupid names at all. Only two in fact. Blimey, I seem to have exhausted the review already. Oh hang on, I could mention the game I suppose. It's a split-screen dash-about affair, with you (and a pal) playing Mobo (and Robo). You have to penetrate ten swish and snazzy buildings, and clear them out under the noses of the security guards. In your favour, you've got paint guns that stun the guards for a few seconds, and a fleet pair of pegs. On the downside, there are oodles of guards, a load of booby traps and the lawyers from Twentieth Century Fox to contend with. (This is a mightily obscure reference to the Bonanzas' catchphrase, 'I'm Mobo/Robo, who the hell are you?' which just happens to be exactly the same as Bart Simpson's. Not that I ever watch The Simpsons of course, my house remains satellite-free. Although they were good when they were on The Tracy Ullman Show. Um, or at least someone who watched The Tracy Ullman Show tells me. Erm, I think I'll close this bracket now.) Meanwhile, back with the game Bonanza Bros is one of those games that sound far more fun than they really are. It is a good laff jogging around the place, zapping guards and blagging swag. It's best with two layers, because then you can divide up the workload and send your pal off to do the hard bits while you head straight for the exit. (Heh heh heh.) Um, and that's all there is to it - run around, shoot robots and pick up objects. Variety comes in the shape or extra baddies, more cluttered buildings and the occasional special effect (like the rope slides on Level Two). Apart from that, gameplay is pretty much of a muchness. In its favour, it is rather playable in a five-minute wonder sort of way. The prob is, it's an exceedingly pernickety game. For a start, the controls are awful - pressing fire shoots your paint gun, but to jump you have to hold the button down, then release it and jiggle the joystick. Very annoying, and more than a little frustrating when you're trying to leg it away from the bad guys. (Or should that be good guys? But I digress.) Secondly, getting onto the raised platforms that litter the floors is a task in itself. Thirdly, although the screen scrolls smoothly and quickly in one player mode, two-player mode causes Mobo's bit to go horribly jerky. Fourthly... well, it'd take ages to go through the lot. Suffice it to say that the game is really fiddly to play, which is a shame. So. Overall, a fun little Spy vs Spy-ish game that falls down in two important areas; long-term appeal (there isn't any) and gameplay (you end up throwing a wobbly cos of the exacting controls.) Apart from that, it's pretty darn spanky. 'Ello. This week, how to break into a mansion with the aid of Mobo, Robo and this handy-dandy map. [Erm, but without the map bit - NickH] Right. Here we are on Level One. The first thing to do is take a squint at where you are. You're on the bottom screen of the two, which is where the interesting things will happen. And here we go. (Cough.) Straight ahead as you enter the place is a guard with a paintproof shield. Nip along the back wall to let him pass, grabbing the goodies as you go. A hop, skip and a jump away you'll come across one of the guards in the peaked caps. These little blighters move along like billy-o, so leap up onto the furniture to avoid them. Up some steps, jink through the doors (be sure to jump over the raised platform in the floor) and zap the guards when their backs are turned. Unsportlng I know, but all's fair love and housebreaking. That's what my Uncle Ab used to say, before they shot him. One quick shufti round the building later and you're ready to make your getaway. Bolt for the roof and hang around anxiously for your airship. There - easy, wasn't it? One security force thoroughly tested, nine to go.
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