Pick an old Queen from the history books, perform a little Quincy-style autopsy and you'll find the word 'Calais' engraved on her heart, much like it says 'Brighton' all the way through a stick of rock.
    Likewise, take any unshaven, baggy-eyed YS reader with worn fingers and do the same thing (preferably after they're dead) and you'll find the words 'Stewart Green, Alien, Issue 2' written in BRIGHT 1; FLASH 1 on their delicate parts.
    Not that Stewart's game was at all bad; it's just that it was only after you'd typed it all in that you noticed that YS had surgically removed some of the more useful bits. Enough to cause an instant autopsy on the spot.
    Having justly become famous, Stewart is now back with his own 75p-a-game tape, including the complete, unabridged and much-updated version of Alien. You also get a Simon game, a Moon-Rover clone, a City Bomber (with the added extra of four backdrops, meteors and missiles), a demented version of Zombie Island and a weird D&D-ish adventure called Caverns D'Or (don't they drink that in Calais? I knew this joke was going places....)
    None of the games are exactly original but, with the possible exception of Zombie and Caverns (in which you just keep dying), they are all very playable. The graphics are adequate and the sound excellent. Shame some of the games use some types of joystick but not others, some are just keys and so on.
    There's enough in Astrocade to make it better than many cheapies but not enough to come close to the best ones. If you fancy a nostalgic bash (it's absolutely aaages since I've potted a good Zombie!) then rush £4.50 to DDS at Halesowen, West Midlands. In the meantime, we'll strap this guy to the operating table and write 'New Ideas' all over his Hammond organ...