Well, this game
certainly had me screaming
"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!" at the top
of my voice I can tell you. After
the brill shoot 'em up fun of Silkworm this
latest release from the Virgin/Mastertronic
stable just doesn't measure up.
Converted from the 16 bitties,
Aargh! could
loosely be described as a kind of arcade adventure
style beat 'em up. It could also be described as a
lot of other things - most of them unprintable.
Aargh! is a one or two player affair in which you
can take the part of either an ogre with halitosis or
an 18 foot dragon. Both the characters are
mean muthers who pack a solid punch and
breathe fire (they're hot stuff for sure!). And the
happy couple spend most of their time terrorising
the townspeople of Darance Island in their search
for - eggs! Yes, yes, I know it sounds strange, but
eggs are the monster's plate de jour, and if they
can collect a little clutch of five, then they can go
for the biggie - the golden egg that lies under the
volcano.
To get these five eggs though, they must search
through the 12 cities on the island, which
range in architectural elegance from a primitive
village of straw huts and wild west fort to a
Chinese pagoda and Indian temple. They rampage
through the cities, either beating up or blow-torching everything in sight, demolishing the
buildings, eating the hamburgers and looking for
the eggs. Once they've found one, it's on to the
next city and so on.
It all sounds well and good so far doesn't it,
Spec-chums? I mean, rampaging monsters are
what our Speccies were made for isn't it? Well yes,
but not when the rampaging monsters are limited
to one basic task - knocking down buildings to
see what's hidden inside them. And not when each
level consists of only one screen on which there
are about five things which need to be knocked
down. And especially not when the monsters only
have one life which is constantly being drained
each time they're hit. When they do die you have to
rewind the tape and load in that level again. 'Cos
Aargh! is a multi-load I'm afraid folks, which
hardly seems necessary since it only loads one
screen at a time. It's this and the other features I've
just mentioned which unfortunately make what
could have been a game you might have
persevered with totally unplayable.
Aargh! might
just have measured up in the budget market, but
as a full price release its name speaks for itself.
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